Killing Party

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Saturday, January 31, 2009

egon schiele and his masterpieces finally touch my lifes path

lets talk about inner searching. subconcious things in ur (daily) life. it is a very deep, dark, unknown, and if ure an adventourous kind of person, it is challenging u to dive in for sure.

sometimes u find your subconcious motive(s) in an unpredictable way. like how i hate some people who i even dont know them yet... (check green day's song talking about this feeling: chump) or i think i love something or somehow or somewhere or somewhat which i cannot describe what it is. but when u feel (for example) that u re pleased like hell for punching, kicking groin and torturing somebody YOU HATE till bonyok or geger otak very much, ull find your subconcious motive (explanation why u do that) about it if ure lucky (which is your concious mind still awake and summarize all things at that time).

for me its all kind of challenging things, which i can say only this feeling (being challenged to dive myself deeper) is what ive already known conciously in myself.

* * *

'soulmate' concept sometime i saw (roughly about) it as a concept which is born by a bunch of desperates and lazy people. they blame to things 'hantu blao' named 'soulmate' to explain their laziness in their romantic life.

but once again im thinking (therefore descartes exist) that maybe we are all, including me have a somewhat soulmate(s). the 'soulmate' concept is not a bullshit thing for bulldreaming people perhaps.. im thinking, like maybe my soulmate right now is or my soulmate is my new sanuk shoes.. is it? is it something that deep inside my subconcious mind they are already exist long time ago whithout my concious side knows about it? which i seem 'accidently' found it but i dont know that my subconcious side maybe leads me to there. is it possible? and if it is so, can we call them my soulmates?

* * *

lets say my soulmate concept is like described above. bali lifestyle gives me aura and sensation, new one, about arts since i live in bali in this last 1 year. painting art especially, beside of those traditional arts like gamelan bali usually played at banjar or the bali dancing, touch my feeling. kind of finding heaven or finding my other me here.

then oneday i found this kind of famous painting artist info and his masterpieces in my friends book. austrian short-lived painter named EGON SCHIELE really kicked my ass for sure!! my heartbeat worked faster at that time! i feel like i found something what i was born for... and that feeling i guess, it is a 'find my soulmate' feeling. i believe my subconcious side bring me to that point...

islam believe takdir or destiny of one person has been writing long before they're born. or einstein concept of time relativity whatever, i feel this time, the time that egon schiele's story touch my life, has written down deep inside my mind, deep down so only my subconcious mind can address it precisely. i better celebrate this finding


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hm.. i wonder what's your gender now.. hihihi..
lookin at the picture, i only feel.. like i miss my mom, i miss her to embrace me like that..

soulmate only a term created by human, same as heaven-hell concept.
*mulai sok tau-ala aquarius*


Feb 5, 2009, 12:02:00 PM  
Anonymous leo said...

agree with you before. but once again my 'new term' for soulmate is described above : something that already exist in our subconcious mind and finally discovered later by our concious side. cool isnt it? ;)

Feb 6, 2009, 8:25:00 AM  
Anonymous The Bitch said...

well, soulmate varies way beyond your mere description. i got soulmateS, not only one, but many. they are people who each keep a piece of my shredded soul everywhere and vice-versa. i's not the sheer carnal body that we share, it's the soul that 'mates'.

soulmates could be the person you talked to in the bus station on your way back from work; the friend who always know when u're down and out without you have to utter a single word; your pet that knows not to bark loudly cuz u have tootache; knowing what to say and do at the right time and understand without you have to tell anything. something like that.

and yes, u've found one of your soulmates in Egon's work. savor it! and never tired to look for another!

Feb 14, 2009, 6:11:00 AM  
Anonymous leo said...

think our soulmate concept is little bit same. but one important thing in my concept is, this what-so-called soulmate (our future something.. someone..)PERHAPS its already printed in our mind, the deepest of our mind so our concious mind doesnt aware of it. if it is so, i guess we can INTERCEPT THE FUTURE if we can access this area of mind.. and dont have to spend energy to see whatever will be happen next..

Feb 18, 2009, 6:38:00 AM  
Anonymous The Bitch said...

life's too short to spend on that kind of shortcut. i prefer to be on this only-god-knows-where roller coaster ride. it's more tempting!

Feb 21, 2009, 2:08:00 AM  

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